The Cool Dads Foundation is an NGO started by Sir Bongani Luvalo and a group of friends to combat the scourge of absent and inactive fathers in society. Luvalo is a philanthropist, youth activist and development practitioner. He is also an entrepreneur and serves as General Secretary of the South African Youth Council.
According to their website, the foundation aims “to facilitate, promote, educate, advocate and support a culture of positive fatherhood, by engaging with fathers and remind them of their fundamental responsibility towards their kids.”
The father’s role in a household is crucial. They influence their children’s psychological and emotional development. Fathers teach children how to engage with society and form healthy relationships with others. However, many households in South Africa have the misfortune of not having present male figures, with children raised by single mothers or grandparents.
According to Luvalo, when a father is absent, he cannot positively influence the child. The child will not be able to learn critical development skills directly or indirectly. So, in turn, the child, that grew up in a single-parent household, would seek this kind of influence and validation elsewhere. More often than not, they are sought out in the wrong places.
“I think children are always looking for some validation, some love and affection from their parents. If a daughter cannot find, understand and appreciate what love is from a father, then they go outside and look for this male figure [who] would make them have an appreciation and an understanding of what a father is and what love is. Coming from a male perspective, you find boys having to join gangsters and groups because they want that type of validation. Where they are told that they are doing good, or they are taught how to do things.”
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Big Brother Mentorship Program
Good moral value needs to be taught and instilled at a young age, and the Cool Dad’s Foundation began an initiative called the Big Brother Mentorship. The program focuses on mentoring and teaching young boys what it means to be men in society.
Luvalo said, “It’s important that we take these boys at a young age so that we do not have issues of gender-based violence … We do not have issues of suicide and mental health. Issues that many men are facing today. The numbers are quite high of [men] who commit suicide [and] who suffer from mental illnesses.”
He explains further that when you take a young boy and teach him about discipline, respect and love, you will see the decline in absent fathers in society and the suicide rates and mental health issues that are common amongst men.
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Positive Feedback of The Program
Luvalo mentions that the wives and partners of the men who have been participating in their foundation’s activities, workshops and seminars have told him that they have seen a vast improvement in their partner’s attitudes towards their children.
Luvalo stated that the program indirectly influenced the mindset of the women, as they began to perceive their partners as more than just the financial contributor in the household.
By reminding men of what it means to be a father, encouraging them to play an active role in their children’s development and them embodying this new set of principles, the wives and partners of the program’s members became more confident in their ability to nurture and care for their children.
“We’ve got a number of activities that seek to shape a man. To be a good father who is able to engage with their kids, who’s able to play with their kids and who’s able to ensure that when a child is sick, they take them to a health facility. When there are school meetings, they are actively taking part in those things. We are creating that environment where we shape the psyche and the mental space of men.”
