StrongMindsStrongKids.org shares tools and activities for kids grade 1 – 3 Photo eSchoolnews.com
Johannesburg – Stress levels are at an all-time high. The world is continuously changing leading to many unforeseen events. Just like adults, children can also suffer from stress and this can impact their lives in disastrous ways.
There are four base emotions. Happiness, fear, anger, and sadness. These four then give rise to others including stress. Although it may seem counterproductive, it is necessary to feel these emotions as it informs us about how we perceive the world and what our nature is like.
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What stress do children feel
Not every kind of stress is bad. Sometimes your child might be stressing over new work they have gotten. This kind of stress is good as it will help them overcome this obstacle, explained Dr. Genevive Da Silva, Educational Psychologist. The stress that hampers a child is one that continuously builds up and they have no coping mechanism to deal with it.
“Stress, when it happens too often or becomes too much for us or we face something that is too big for us and we don’t find the coping mechanisms or tools to overcome it, then it becomes something that’s overwhelming. It stays and it starts to sort of take over our lives in that aspect. Too much fear, too much anxiety, too much stress or stress and anxiety or fear that we cannot overcome, we cannot get the right tools to overcome the problem.”
Everyday situations can build up in a child. This cause of stress can be due to them being bullied or picked on by teachers or being in an uncaring environment. It is a slow, continuous build-up of it. Stress can also be caused by a sudden change in things. This rapid change can be overwhelming and bring about a huge amount of stress in a child, explained Da Silva.
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Picking up on the clues that your child is stressed
Children are not like adults. They do not understand their feelings and emotions as well as an adult does. They instead exhibit signs of pain, not eating regularly or unable to fall asleep or stay asleep. These are all signs that a child can be experiencing an overwhelming amount of stress and their body is letting them know through these signs.
“When we look at physical symptoms, that is where they’re complaining about pain in their bodies, but they can’t tell you where. So, there’s discomfort in the body and that’s one sign. Then there are also emotions. Our personalities or the way that we engage life can change. If you know your child well and you pick up that there’s a shift in their personality or how they’re engaging in life. They’ve always enjoyed going to school and suddenly they don’t want to go to school … Things like that. You can see they’re just not the same as they’ve been previously as they’re engaging with their everyday life.”
Sometimes it can be how they even speak about a certain aspect in their life they once loved. This can also be a sign that things aren’t right. Verbal warnings like these usually come before the physical warnings.
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How to ease the burden on your kids
A child does not have the skills and methods to cope with stress like adults do. As adults we have already developed our own methods, but a child has not. The first step is letting them know that you are in their corner. Letting them know they are not alone is vital to helping them.
“They need someone in their corner to help them. The first thing we can do is to just come alongside them and hear where they’re at. We might not understand it completely. We might not even agree with it but just the simple fact that they feel like we’re in their corner and that we’re there to help them is already a huge part of the battle.”
The next step explained Da Silva is allowing yourself to be in their shoes. Try to see it from their point of view and perspective. Even if it seems irrational to you, it is something that is causing them major stress. Being able to see things from their perspective will help you to be better able to deal with it.
After that it is time to tackle what is the actual problem they are facing. Are they stressed out, are they afraid or are they anxious? Each emotion has a different way of being approached.
“With stress or fear there’s usually something very specific that they’re stressing about. With anxiety you can’t always pinpoint what the worry is about. Usually, anxiety has to do with the future. Stress has to do with attacking a problem that’s present.”
It is important to connect with your child as well. Playing with them, talking to them, taking the time out of your day to listen to them is vital to helping them out. We live very busy lives and sometimes these things can fall through the cracks. It is important to set aside a day in the week or even an hour every day to connect with your child and pick up these things. A few minutes a day can help to eradicate many problems in a child’s life.
