The definition of success is not linear and rigid. It can be defined how anyone sees fit Photo Pivotal Moments
South Africa – In a world long dominated by societal norms and rigid expectations, women are increasingly breaking free from the confines of traditional definitions of success. What was once deemed as ‘success’ for a woman is not anymore. This paradigm shift is not only challenging the status quo but also giving rise to a new era of empowerment, where women are reclaiming the authority to define success on their own terms.
Each women has a different definition of success and they have chosen pictures, which they feel, best represents their definition of success.
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"Being a cashier is quite a stressful and fun job. However, it is a way in which I can support my family. For most people, that would be considered successful but not to me. To me, these two pictures were taken during a time when there was so much peace in my heart and mind. This alone, to me, is worth more than anything money can buy. This is success to me. Being in a state of contentment and at peace. Two things money can never buy." Mhandisa Ncgebo
"For me, success is a culmination of experiences and financial stability. I believe that having money allows me to live my best life, enabling me to travel, explore, and create cherished memories. However, success is not solely measured by financial gains; it also encompasses continuous learning and personal growth. Despite already achieving an undergraduate degree and currently pursuing honours and part-time studies, I acknowledge that there is always room for further development. A key aspect of success, for me, is maintaining balance across all aspects of life. This includes nurturing family life, advancing in my career, and nurturing a fulfilling social life. In my vision of success, I want to be present and actively involved in my family's life, particularly as a parent. I aspire to spend quality time with my future child or children, prioritising their well-being and ensuring that they know I am there for them, not an absent figure. This commitment to family extends to my future husband as well. We would prioritise quality time together, engaging in regular date nights, and maintaining open communication about our mental health. Financial independence is also crucial in my view of success. I want to live comfortably with my spouse, travelling and experiencing life together. However, I also recognise the responsibility of being financially stable before bringing children into our lives. It feels essential to be able to provide the best for them, without financial worries overshadowing their upbringing. My vision of success involves a delicate balance of financial stability, personal growth, and family happiness. It's a journey towards living life to the fullest, while also providing a secure and comfortable future for my family. Ultimately, success for me means embracing a life free from financial worries, filled with love, learning, and cherished experiences shared with loved ones."- Tasmiyah Surtee
"I have a very silly way of measuring my success. It goes along the lines of "As long as I accomplish one task today, it was a successful day, and with many successful days, I will endure a successful life" There is a lot of pressure around being a woman and striving to be the best at everything. You need to be smart, you need to be beautiful, You need to earn a large income, be able to cook and clean and once you're able to tick each one of these traits off, you'd be successful. I don't think that's the case. Success to me is finding contentment and happiness in my imperfections, whilst doing the best I can to improve them. - Sarika Naidoo, computer science and mathematics student
"My definition of success is far from linear; it defies a singular answer, as it is a complex amalgamation of various elements that intertwine to shape the essence of achievement in my life. I find that my success is contingent upon three fundamental pillars: my spiritual connection with God, the fulfilment I derive from my career, and my overall outlook on life. Regarding my career, I have already attained a significant milestone by becoming the first grandchild in my family to graduate. This accomplishment not only reflects my personal triumph but also holds great meaning for my grandmother and her offspring, as none of her children experienced the joy of graduating. The journey to this achievement was challenging, as I initially pursued engineering for two years before realising my true passion lay elsewhere. I made the pivotal decision to change my path, leading me to a career I genuinely love and am enthusiastic about. Although graduating represents a considerable triumph, I perceive it as a stepping stone in my ever-evolving quest for success. My aspirations extend to pursuing further studies, including a master's in law, and perhaps couple my law degree with finance. If there's time, I would like to complete my engineering degree. I am committed to continuous growth, aiming to become an attorney affiliated with a reputable law firm and perpetually striving for professional advancement. For me, spiritual success is measured by my ability to place unwavering trust in God and surrender my uncertainties to His guidance. I recognise my present struggle in wholly relying on divine providence, often finding myself attempting to control outcomes. A profound connection with God will be achieved when I can genuinely surrender my fears, seeking Him as my primary source of solace during both trials and triumphs. This spiritual equilibrium will allow me to acknowledge His role in my life, expressing gratitude for blessings and leaning on Him during challenging times. Lastly, the aspect of life ties everything together. I acknowledge a persistent yearning for more, sometimes leading to discontent despite possessing numerous blessings. This realisation humbles me, as I witness others with far less who exude contentment and happiness. To achieve genuine success in life, I aim to cultivate a sense of appreciation and contentment for what I have while striving for progress. The key lies in finding a harmonious balance between ambition and gratitude, ensuring that the pursuit of success does not overshadow the joy and satisfaction derived from the present moment. Being content with what I have is extremely important. If you never find contentment, you can have the whole world and still have that empty feeling. Ultimately, I aspire to reach a state of contentment with my career, spiritual connection, and life's circumstances, viewing each facet as an integral part of my success story. The pursuit of greater accomplishments should not overshadow the present but instead enhance the fulfilment I find in every aspect of my life's journey. As I nurture this holistic approach to success, I hope to embrace the profound wisdom that lies within the harmonious coexistence of ambition, gratitude, and spiritual growth." - Tamlyn Singh
"For many, success is all about earning the big bucks and living a lavish life. Success is not just based on one thing. It is focused on multiple things, even small things. Getting out of bed after feeling down and out. That can be considered a success. I define success as anything that is achievable. Just hitting those everyday goals. That to me is success. Yes, there is those big achievements that we can hit but very often we forget about the little things we do. I think if we focused on those more, we would be far happier in life." - Melissa Donnelly.
"Apart from the achievements, success to me is about being happy in life. Good health and a joyful family. Yes, the material things are exciting but you could have all that and be hurting. Surely that's not what I call success. I took this picture at the most peaceful time in my life after a breaking week. Attaining this sort of peace is what I call being successful." - Amelia-Xine Padayachee.
"I was born into a family where previous generations hadn't had the opportunity to further their studies, some of which hadn't completed high school. Having the opportunity to not only graduate high school but obtain nearly 2 tertiary degrees is what I deem success. If not the years of hard work and belief from previous generations in my family, I wouldn't be where I am today. My success is because of years and years of perseverance and hope. To me, having the opportunity to receive an education, as a woman, and being able to make a career out of it and attain financial stability is success. Being able to now afford things that one wasn't able to afford as a child is a success. Being able to drive vehicles and be the CEO of a well-established firm is a success. Essentially, being able to achieve everything that our previous generation of women had only hoped for is a success. As women in 2023, our success is owed to the women who came before us. May they live well and long enough to enjoy our fruits." - Ashika Singh, law student
"Success is about three things; wealth, friendships and morals and beliefs. To be financially independent is important in order to live a comfortable life. When you have that life, you know you have succeeded in your career. Success is also having good, sustainable friendships and relationships as you go about this journey of life. Success is also about being emotionally mature and too many people lack this skill. Then they bring children into this world and not having that skill, it negatively impacts the children. The main thing about success is that it can't be taken away from you. It is something profound. Unique and not matter what people do, even if your career goes away, just thinking about it, gives you that same feeling of happiness all over again." Atiyya Loonat, owner of candle making business.
"As an Apa and a mother, these books hold the key to being successful in life. The companions of Nabi (SAW) lived a successful life. While some will try to aspire to a life of wealth and riches, we understand that this life is just a test. As the jamaat brothers say, your success and my success lays solely in obeying the commands of Allah (SWT) and following the life of Nabi (SAW). For me, success is being able to live a life that closely resembles that of the companions (RA). " - Apa Naeema Tayob.
"To understand my opinion of what success is, you have to understand who I am. As every little girl has, I've had many visions, hopes and dreams for myself. By 22, I’d be married. By 23, I’d have my first of six kids and by 30, I’d have a big family with even bigger family lunches (obviously at my six bedroom house with a beautiful garden and a fully-equipped game room). It seemed realistic enough. I had a plan and life would happen exactly like that, how could it not? Once I turned 18 and entered life as a matriculant, my views on life began to change. A sudden realisation that I wanted more for myself as an individual and not as a unit - ‘Ameera and her husband’ or ‘Ameera and her kids’. I wanted to build something that I could call mine, just mine. I wanted to remain outspoken and focused while doing it - whatever it was. My parents always encouraged me to apply to university throughout my schooling career. They’ve always encouraged independence - and I will forever be grateful to them for this and so much more. Study what? I thought. Again, as every little girl, I thought I’d be a doctor, a lawyer, or an accountant or own a business. It didn’t matter what because all I saw was success in every scenario. That’s what I thought success was. A good career with a good job and marriage somewhere in between all of that. I did not become a doctor, lawyer, or accountant. I am now a Speech Therapist & Audiologist. Something I’ve never considered, and it turned out to be the first step in learning who I am. It was my turning point to what I regard success as. It was four and a half years of intense studying with practical exposure involving communities in need. It reshaped my views further. I watched people arrive at clinics and hospitals at 6 am just to see a doctor hours later. Mums with their babies and grannies with their daughter’s babies made up most of the line. My role was to provide intervention from a speech and hearing perspective, but I wanted to do more. I wanted to fix this system (and I know other people want to do the same). It is a failed system when a patient leaves their home at 5 am, knowing they’re losing pay for the day, just to stand in the longest line and maybe get the chance to see a doctor. Treating these patients meant I was exposed to their daily struggles which included looking after family members they did not have capacity to look after, using savings for taxi fare, not knowing who they needed to see for certain problems and being sent from person to person, no money for food while at the hospital, no family visiting at the hospital due to money problems and the list goes on. It was a difficult thing to grasp that this is the way so many people have to live. There is no escaping it. Fast-forward to my community service year. I was placed at a rural regional hospital in Mpumalanga, five hours away from home and this was in the beginning stages of Covid-19. My parents and I were on the fence about me going or waiting another six months for a better placement. After two weeks of back and forth, I decided to go - in the middle of level four lockdown. I convinced myself that there was a big reason for me to go to Mpumalanga. Maybe I’d find the love of my life, maybe I’d find some crazy career opportunity, maybe I’d learn some deep life lessons. Who knew? Once I was in Mpumalanga, I was captivated by its beauty which made me further believe the above. I waited days and weeks which eventually turned into months for something good to happen, anything. I was becoming insanely desperate for a reason as I was not having a good time and hated every second of living there and working at that hospital. Nothing made sense and nothing worked the way it was supposed to! So, of course, my Type A personality was losing its mind. I tried making friends, exploring the town, tried hobbies yet nothing was enough. This was all within the first six months of my com serve. The next six months became easier as Allah (SWT) promised with hardships come ease. He (SWT) sent my ease by my hospital allocating weekly shifts during covid to reduce exposure to each other. I got to go home every second week and stay with my family. I didn’t realise how much I needed this but Allah (SWT) knew. He (SWT) always knows. I know you’re thinking, ‘yeah, we know He (SWT) knows’ but saying it and actually believing it with Yaqeen (certainty) is so different. The one thing I gained throughout those 12 months was my closeness to Allah (SWT) and Tawakkul (Trusting in God). I looked at being alone as a way of being in solitude. It took its toll on me at the time and I didn’t know the value of any of it. I broke down many times and wanted to move back home over and over but I held onto my faith and belief that this was purposeful and never would Allah (SWT) leave me like this. It's difficult to place all of those feelings into words now as it was three years ago. As I’m typing this, I remember that Allah (SWT) sent friends and family via social media to keep me sane. If you’re reading this, thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me at one of the lowest points in my life. Once I understood that Allah (SWT) was on my side, a lot of things in my life fell into place. I reactivated our non-profit organisation, Amani Inkd, which is a big part of who I am today. A foundation where we help anyone in need solely for the pleasure of Allah (SWT). A place where we’re ready to lend a hand and heal a heart. A place where I have learnt so much and continue to learn throughout every campaign and every project. I now know that this is the ‘mine’ I’ve wanted all those years ago (of course with my co-founder, other members and volunteers). So, at almost 26 years old, I don’t have the husband, the six children (I deeply apologise to all the aunties I am letting down) or the massive house, but I have success. Gaining Tawakkul and knowing that Allah (SWT) uses me as an aid for others." - Ameera Thokan
