A positive parent-child relationship is the “blueprint” that shapes a child’s future social behaviour, emotional well-being and resilience, according to Shuhaida Adam, a social worker at Islamic Careline in Johannesburg.
Speaking on Salaamedia, Adam emphasised that children who have a strong connection with their parents are better equipped to handle stress, regulate their emotions, and navigate social settings with confidence.
This foundational relationship provides children with a sense of safety and security, which is crucial for their development. The Australian parenting network, Raising Children, states that children learn and develop best when they have “strong, loving, positive relationships with parents and other carers.” This bond helps them understand the world and their place in it.
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Navigating the challenges of adolescence
The teenage years can be a particularly trying time for families as a natural disconnect often emerges. Adam advises that during this phase, parents must exercise “quite a bit of patience” and self-awareness. She warns against engaging in power struggles, which can be “really draining” and counterproductive. “As a parent, you don’t actually want to get into that,” she explained, as it often devolves into a “battle of roles.”
Instead of reacting with anger or accusations, Adam suggests parents should try to understand the root cause of the conflict. Often, an outburst is a sign that a teenager is struggling with an external issue and does not know how to ask for help. She recommends parents “contain the situation” and create a calm space to explore what is really going on, without assigning blame. This approach fosters trust and shows the child that their parent is there to support them.
To rebuild a connection, especially with a teenager who has become distant, Adam suggests starting with simple, shared activities that don’t force intimacy. “Go with what feels comfortable, what feels natural,” she advises. This could be taking a walk, getting ice cream, or just being present while they engage in their own activities.
Spending just 10 minutes of distraction-free time together daily can make a significant difference. The goal is to create opportunities for connection through one-on-one time, which reinforces the child’s self-esteem and strengthens the parent-child relationship.
Ultimately, building and maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship is a “slowly-slow process,” Adam concludes. It requires parents to be visible, interactive, and willing to meet their child at their level, adapting their approach as the child grows and their needs change.
Image via Jessup University.
