Johannesburg – They say behind every successful team there is a coach who got them there. Not only do teams need a coach to get them to the very top, but individuals do too. A life coach can help you do that.
Life coaches are professionals who are dedicated to helping you achieve your potential and reach your goals.
In life we often face problems that require us to do more than just talk about it. We need someone to help us find the path and walk us on it. Rukshana Modan, internationally acclaimed Life Coach and Mentor, explained that this is part of what a life coach does to get you to reach your potential.
“Life coaching helps you overcome those limiting beliefs, those fears, those traumas that you walk with that are actually hurting the cells within your body, which are diseasing you because you hold the pain. You hold this anguish within yourself, and this thing starts making you sick whereas when you speak to a life coach, you go through a program. It’s an actual program. You’re not just speaking to somebody. They take you through techniques. They take you through life balance. They take you through your goal settings. They take you through your career council and everything. Even your relationships, to who you are effectively. All those steps and that is how you become a well-balanced person.”
One of the many benefits of having a life coach is that they are unbiased. Oftentimes family members or people you talk to will have some sort of agenda. A life coach is completely neutral, and this helps them to understand your problems better and find a solution to it.
Modan has two kids, and she learnt this lesson for herself when she tried to coach them. Although she is an excellent life coach, she found that “it became a huge problem where it was like I was always bossing them around. I was controlling their lives… I then realised they need a mother and not a coach.”
Some of her clients have been with her for several years but that does not mean they have not progressed or received the help they needed. It’s quite the opposite, according to Modan.
“I have had clients for seven years with me, but it’s not because of the trials and tribulations that they’re going through. It’s because they’re improving their lives day by day. And they make me hold them accountable, to want to have a bigger business and grow their business. Or in their career. Or they put their kids into my space and say, ‘Okay you know my child is choosing this subject, when the child finishes matriculating, guide him again’. I have formed relationships with my clients that are ongoing and then they bring their families, and they bring their friends to me because these are not relationships. It’s about bettering your lives.”
The help doesn’t stop there. Modan seeks to resolve issues with married couples and deal with outside interference. Today it has become part of marriage that someone from your spouse’s side will have something to say about you. According to a Professor of Sociology who has authored numerous books on marriage, Dr. Terri Orbuch, men who are on good terms with their wives’ parents are more likely to enjoy a long-lasting marriage than those who struggle to have a good relationship with their in-laws. Unfortunately, everyone wants to have a say in a marriage that isn’t theirs. The key to avoiding outside interference from destroying one’s marriage is to have “rules of engagement,” said Modan.
“More and more marriages are failing today because some other party is interfering in that marriage… Rules of engagement is where two parties come together, and they say, ‘We’re not going to let these things influence us. We’re not going to let outside parties try to control this marriage’, and ‘we’re not going to want to change each other. We will change ourselves to better ourselves and this relationship’. And those are healthy things that your coach takes you through.”
On her watch, she has so far managed to help save all the marriages she has worked with. According to Modan, most of the fights between couples happen because, “they are not being listened to,” and the life coach helps to make the other person see that without putting them down.
“When you start listening with love and you start responding with love, these relationships start having amazing bonds and they start loving the kids better. They love their families better and even when people outside interfere in this marriage, they deal with it in such a practical way. It creates a better understanding and that’s what it’s about.”
The first step for Modan is to get the couple one-on-one before she sits together with them. In this way she “doesn’t take sides” and finds out how to work with the couple to fix things. To date she has managed to build families on the verge of breaking and some have become “close friends”. 
There are different life coaches. Modan’s niche is relationships, trauma, love, family, and business. She stressed you can find a life coach whose niche deals with your specific problem. There is no harm in seeing a life coach as everyone “will give you a free first session just to see if you fit within their niche.”
For those who feel that a life coach might be out of their budget, it is not the case. Not only has Modan accepted items instead of cash, but she also knows many others who have done the same and some that have offered their services for free.
“I know many of my coaches have taken barter for fees because some housewives don’t have money. Some people are unemployed and obviously they’re in so much financial debt they don’t have money to pay for coaches. I have been paid with some stuff… Reach out. Somebody might just decide that they’re going to do it for free. Coaches need to earn money but there’s many that have big hearts and they’ll open their hearts up for you and if you’re in trouble, if you’re in distress. They will be there to help you.”
Many celebrities and famous people have life coaches. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of courage and bravery. It is you taking control of your life and making the best of it. As Modan said, “if you have a pebble in your shoe, are you going to stop and take it out or wait until it tears your skin and causes agonising pain?”
