South Africa – When tackling the severe and persistent problem of Gender-Based Violence (GBV), we must keep our primary concern on safeguarding and empowering women and girls, as they are most affected by its consequences. However, in our efforts to ensure their safety and well-being, we sometimes unintentionally overlook the needs of boys.
This neglect can inadvertently lead to the development of harmful socialisation patterns and stereotypes in young boys and men, potentially shaping them into future perpetrators of GBV. As Gaontebale Nodoba, a Lecturer at the University of Cape Town, suggests, this may be the underlying cause of GBV.
“As we focus on the girl child and try to protect the girl child against the scourge of GBV, we neglect the boy child. He is the one who is socialised alongside particular values that are not helpful as they grow up into adults. Then they end up inevitably being the ones that become perpetrators of GBV.”
What is the Socialisation of the Boy Child?
The socialisation of young males encompasses the process through which various facets of society influence and mould the behaviour, beliefs, and gender roles of boys during their growth and development.
This process entails instructing them on how to conform to societal expectations and norms associated with being male, which, to be candid, can often be stringent and unforgiving.
When boys undergo socialisation that reinforces inflexible and harmful stereotypes of masculinity, it can lead to negative behaviours such as aggression, emotional suppression, and a reluctance to seek professional assistance or express vulnerability, which are often considered unmanly traits.
In response to this concern, Nodoba, in collaboration with representatives from the Gauteng Department of Education, has organised a workshop aimed at boys and young men, intending to reshape their perception of what it means to be a man.
“In the workshop that we had with the boys, we said to them, men need to know it’s okay not to be okay. Men need to know it’s okay to talk about feelings and not to suffocate and suppress them. Men need to know that it is okay to ask for help.”
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Identifying and Addressing Factors Contributing to GBV
Through socialisation, Nodoba asserts that we, as members of society, inadvertently put the boy child and, by extension, the girl child at a disadvantage.
He expresses, “We, as members of society, are our own worst enemies,” because we persist in promoting and nurturing the notion of macho masculinity among young boys, often unaware of the adverse consequences it can have at various stages of their development.
While socialisation plays a pivotal role in shaping young individuals, parents and caregivers are equally responsible for nurturing the youth.
However, Nodoba highlights a concerning pattern where parents delegate their nurturing responsibilities to other societal members and institutions. Additionally, adults, including parents and caregivers, have cultivated environments where young boys feel ashamed of showing vulnerability and expressing their thoughts and emotions.
“Parents, by virtue of their parental responsibility, should take the lead. They should initiate discussions. They should initiate discourses and talks with children.”
Hence, according to Nodoba, to combat the rise of GBV, parents must engage with their children and affirm that it is perfectly acceptable to have moments of vulnerability. Parents should allow their children to openly express their emotions without fear of suppression or facing stigma from their family, friends, or the wider society.
