STS can occur to everyone and anyone and it is important for us to prioritise our mental health Photo Psike
World – As the harrowing echoes of the Gaza genocide initially reverberated, a multitude united in a desperate outcry. Yet, with each passing day, as political indifference persists in the face of human pleas and the horrors deepen, hope is crumbling.
Desperation has cast its shadow, unravelling the fabric of minds, leaving behind a haunting abyss of despair. Amidst the collective agony, the silent epidemic of what people have dubbed “survivor’s guilt” has quietly infiltrated hearts.
Survivor’s guilt, as explained by Psychologist Mariam Adam, arises when an individual undergoes or observes a distressing or traumatic event where someone else suffers the loss of life, livelihood, possessions, property, a loved one, etc.
“The survivor may experience feelings of guilt, shame and discomfort for surviving the situation and not experiencing the same loss as the next person. It is a very complicated phenomenon and is under researched despite being so pervasive. It is most common in situations where the individual has witnessed death, or has been exposed to death, rather than loss of possessions. Survivors feel responsible for the death of others, or feel like there was something they could have done, despite having either very little, or no control of the situation.”
How survivor’s guilt manifests in those in the war zone
While survivor’s guilt is under researched, there have been studies done on the manifestation of it in war veterans, explained Adam. Oftentimes we see these play out on the big screens, in books, or other media.
“War veterans feel that instead of their friends dying, they should have died instead, and often look for reasons and meanings behind why they survived but others did not. They also tend to feel like they do not deserve to be alive, and their survival costs others their life. As we can see, this manner of thinking is quite irrational.”
What we are experiencing
However, away from the battle zone survivor’s guilt manifests in a much different way and has a different name. People who aren’t directly involved in a war or traumatic events can experience something called Secondary Trauma Stress (STS), which is what many people are experiencing now, rather than “survivors guilt”, explained Adam. This is what many of us are currently dealing with.
“STS is the contact trauma a person experiences when they hear a traumatic story, or consume traumatic media. The exposure to traumatic experiences of others can impact us in a negative way and cause vicarious trauma, which are radical changes of the self due to prolonged exposure to secondary trauma. Previously, vicarious trauma was seen most in professions like medicine, law enforcement, healthcare and social work, where you would directly deal with people who are experiencing trauma. However, with the rise of real experiences being captured so authentically on social media, everyone is susceptible to secondary trauma and the consumption and witnessing traumatic experiences can cause vicarious trauma.”
Tiktokers like Adam West haven’t been afraid to let their emotions show. In a video uploaded to Tiktok, West, while profusely crying, expresses how sorry he is for being unable to bring an end to genocide but vows to never give up and to “tell the story of how it happened” and to “hold those accountable” for what has happened. This is a clear sign of STS, explained Adam and it is prevalent in all those experiencing ‘survivor’s guilt’.
“There is guilt surrounding being able to see family members, having access to resources, and will manifest as obsessive thoughts, fear, confusion, a profound sense of helplessness and a general sentiment of ‘I feel like I am not doing enough’ despite external factors that prevent us from doing more. It can also cause some dissociative feelings and lack of motivation and symptoms similar to anxiety and depression.”
West echoes the feelings of many. Feelings that Naseera also has. Although she has been part of protests, making her voice heard and fundraising, it never feels enough. It almost feels hopeless but she, like West and many others, will not give up.
“Sometimes it feels hopeless, you feel helpless. Like nothing really matters. Like no matter what you do, the situation is not changing. World leaders are just not listening to the cries of the many and it breaks my heart. Some nights I just stare at the ceiling and let tears run down my cheeks because I have no words left. I have no voice left but even so, I will not stop calling and protesting until every single Palestinian is free.”
SMread: Apartheid Israel’s brutal occupation and displacement of the West Bank
What is the cause of STS and why it is important to address it
When you really dig down, STS is the result of a person having empathy. While it might break your heart and mind, being brought to tears, feeling this despair, feeling all these emotions comes from having a level of empathy which, as we have seen, many do not have.
“Human beings were biologically created with empathy, and survivor guilt and STS are both empathy based. The very definition of empathy is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. By feeling empathy based guilt in trauma situations, your brain feels as if you’re emotionally going through the same thing as the person who directly experienced it. Empathy is what causes us to help others. From a psychological point of view, with regards to Palestine, we are all feeling this vicarious trauma and empathy, and it is serving as a motivator for the world to want to do something to help the victims.”
But what do we do now once we have these feelings and symptoms? We have to step back, said Adam.
“Constant consumption of traumatising content can go two ways, it can cause high levels of guilt, fear and anxiety, and when the brain has reached its fatigue threshold, then desensitisation can occur.”
However, for many, it is not so simple. Ismail, like many others, finds it incredibly hard to step away from all that is occurring. To step back, to take a break, it is almost perceived as “no longer caring about the genocide that is occurring”.
“It’s really hard to step away and enjoy life. Everytime I want to step away, I think to myself, do the Palestinians get to step away from all that is happening? They are being constantly bombed, killed, murdered, decapitated and so much more. Every video, every picture, the world needs to see. People, those who still deny what is going on, need to see the truth. Even though it breaks me sometimes, to see what I see, I know it must be shared so others know the atrocities that are being committed daily by Israel.”
If one is experiencing symptoms of STS, one needs to step away. Dealing and coping with vicarious trauma and STS requires awareness, balance and connection, said Adam. While we may want to continue spreading the message, images of what is happening in Gaza, we have to ensure we take care of ourselves. If STS is left untreated, people may experience “tangible PTSD like symptoms and are at a higher risk for burnout, anxiety, depression etc”. They may also experience trouble “setting personal boundaries, loss of their sense of identity and confused sense of self”.
One of the therapeutic ways to cope with secondary trauma is resilience building. We must also, no matter how hard it will be, to limit “doom scrolling” and consume positive content as well. There needs to be a balance in all that we do to ensure, at the end of the day we have not mentally and physically drained ourselves.
“We can build resilience through connection with others, forming close and healthy relationships that are safe spaces to express our fears and feelings, and have a supportive network. Contribution can also build resilience by giving us a sense of purpose. Contributing to a cause, helping to organise charity events or just spreading awareness gives us a sense of control and makes us feel like we are helping, and that in turn builds resilience… There are alot of toxic narratives on social media with quotes like ‘the people from palestine dont get a break’ things with good intent but instead is causing guilt for people who are trying to keep their mental health intact. It is okay to switch off and take a break from consuming the genocide media for small increments. Remember by obsessively watching videos of bombing for 14 hours a day, it is unhealthy, it is not selfish or negative to choose one’s mental health.”
In order to continue supporting the Palestinians, we must be mentally and physically focused. Ready to make our voices heard. In order to do that, we must look after ourselves
